Okay, so apparently Bill Gates has a yacht. Not just any yacht — a superyacht. A 370-foot-long, hydrogen-powered, floating sci-fi mansion that probably has better Wi-Fi than my entire neighborhood.
Let me paint the picture for you: this thing isn’t just a boat. It’s a small nation. It has a gym, a spa, a helipad (because billionaires can’t use normal boats or normal helicopters), and floor-to-ceiling windows for all those moments when Bill wants to look pensive over the ocean like he’s in a shampoo commercial.
Oh, and it’s eco-friendly. Because if you’re going to casually spend six hundred and forty-five million dollars on a floating fortress, it’s very important that it runs on hydrogen. That way you can save the planet while flexing on it. Love that for him.
Meanwhile, I’m over here arguing with Spotify because it won’t let me skip more than six songs an hour.
Can We Talk About Priorities?
I mean, yes — billionaires can spend their money however they want. It's theirs. But also: why? What are you even doing with a yacht that size? Are you hosting floating TED Talks? Running secret robot tournaments? Avoiding other billionaires at sea like it’s a game of rich guy hide-and-seek?
This isn't even jealousy talking. (Okay, maybe a little.) But mostly, it's like… how is this real life? There are people out here driving 2003 Toyotas with duct tape on the bumper, and this man has a sea castle powered by liquid hydrogen. Liquid. Hydrogen.
“I Just Really Love the Ocean” — Probably
What’s wild is that Bill Gates is the “responsible” billionaire. He’s out here saving the world, eradicating diseases, and fighting climate change. And yet, he still woke up one day and said, “You know what I need? A ship large enough to host the Met Gala.”
Honestly, if I had that much money, I’d probably do unhinged things too. Like buy a haunted castle or create an app that screams every time someone says “crypto.” But at least I’d be fun about it.
Final Thoughts from My Ikea Desk
So yeah. Bill Gates has a yacht the size of a shopping mall. It's luxurious. It's eco-conscious. It's probably smarter than most people I know. And it exists while the rest of us microwave leftovers and dream about buying concert tickets without selling a kidney.
But hey — good for him, I guess. Let the man have his floating hydrogen island. I just hope it comes with a mirror big enough for him to look into and say, “Maybe I went a tiny bit overboard.”
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